Titus 2:4-5, "teach women to love their family"??

Paul is instructing the women who have been Christians for a while to mentor and to teach the women who are new Christians. The bibles tells us to be teachers of good things. We should teach women to love their husbands, to love their children. Sound kind of silly? Teaching a woman to love their family? Love isn't a feeling, it's an action, a choice that we make. Yes we feel love for our family but how do we show the love? As wives and mothers, we are the heart of our homes. If we aren't acting as the heart, then where is the love?

For me, this was a difficult concept at first. I love my family but I didn't really take the time to show it. I go to work every day. I come home and cook dinner, clean the kitchen, help with homework, straighten the living room, make sure my daughter has her bath, spend 45 minutes completing her bedtime routine and so and so on (not to mention the activities outside the home).

But when I examined my attitude while completing these everyday things, I wasn't very happy with myself. I was cold and set in a routine. I had my eyes on the target but my heart wasn't in it. In fact, it makes me sad to think of this. I still find myself "in routine". I was too busy worrying about getting things done that I didn't realize I wasn't showing love.

I began to slow down. In order for me to slow down, I needed to prioritize and schedule things so I had time to slow down. For instance, I scheduled my daughter's bath time and set a bed time for her. Many women have been doing this forever, why was this such a new concept for me? Not sure, but if you know, please share. :) I stopped watching television so much in the evenings. I record the shows I want to watch on the DVR and watch them after the kids are in bed. I quit things that didn't fit in with my top 3 priorities, God-Husband-Kids.

After I made some changes in my "routine" I tried to smile more too. I also took the time to play and talk with the kids not just tell them what to do. I took the time to ask my husband how his day was and even kiss him hello and tell him I love him! Making the changes (and these are just a few), changed me too. I am happier and the joy that I receive is not something I can put into words. It's an amazing feeling.

BUT...I have been working on this for almost a year now. I backslide a lot. Sometimes I get into the TV mode and I always regret it at the end of the night when my house is messy or I didn't do something I should have done. Sometimes I find myself being cold and focused on things that need to be done. This is why I am so JOYFUL that the Lord loves me anyway and so does my family. They know what I strive for and they support me when I fail. The Lord knows my heart and he speaks to me when I'm down.

I will never be without mistakes and I will always be a sinner as long as I'm in this world. But I will ALWAYS need the Lord and He will ALWAYS be there for me (and you). I tell myself when I fall short, "keep trying Monica because the day you give up, then you have truly failed and Satan has won".